ILY.

hun,

been thinking about you since you left and i hope you're not doing it on purpose. i know we did a lot of crazy things and i myself didnt expect i am capable of doing IT. but you know, i never regret doing it at all because i did it with you. i dunno what you're thinking and i have no idea if you really meant it when you said you love me. of course i am hoping you really do but like what my friends told me this afternoon, only you knows the truth. for now, i have no other way to communicate with you, exhausted my load coz i attempted to call you today from 8am to 2pm. i don 't know much about you and i know it was plain stupid for me to fall too hard at such a very short period but that's how it is, that's how i feel. i don't wanna make you feel crap by saying i am saddened and i am so afraid that i might have lost you the very same day you went home. just in case you do, i want you to tell it to me straight so at least i can move on with my life. i love you duce. i don't know exactly why i do but the conversations we had were just enough to make me smile the whole time you were away and in fact until now am still reading them. i love you because you made me feel so special, you were attentive, you have given me a very clear picture of how ideal my life can be when we get to be together and i hope everything that we talked about, our plans and all that still holds true up to this very day. i may have confused you because things went so fast but to be honest, i also didn't expect that i'd feel this way for you. truth be told, you're the second man in my life that i can officially call my boyfriend. i may have loved someone else but it was never mutual. thank you for making me feel so special, thank you for giving me so much of your time, thank you for making me smile, thank you for inspiring me, thank you for making me feel that i deserve so much more. you asked me once what i liked in you and you even told me you're not gorgeous, not as rich, asked me if i can love a shoe salesman and i said yes. i was never bothered by the kind of life you live, all i want is to be with the man that i love and i don't care who he is or what he has as long as i know i can make his life complete.

hun, your silence scares me. enough that i wasn't able to sleep, havent had my lunch yet actually. been thinking and praying you're alright.. and yes, i did cry the whole time and right now i guess i just have to finish this email because i am just about to cry again. i know i'll be fine when i get to hear your voice again. i miss your i love yous, i miss the way you call me baby, i miss it when you say im beautiful (eventhough i know am not - lol). i have no idea if you still want me or even love me, no idea if you came to realize and assess your feelings during the weekend but i want you to know that i'm still here and i'll wait for you. i love you duce, seriously and i believe you when you said that you love me more and i wish it were true. i wish all of the things we talked about were true, that it was real love .

-anne